The Cheerleading Dogs
by Whitney

One Saturday when I was spending the night at my Mom-Mom's house I went to bed late. I was afraid because strange things began to happen. I started to hear pots and pans wiggle and my dogs started to bark. A chill went up my spine. I thought maybe it was my brothers, Doug and Eric, and their friend Cody who was spending the night with us at my Mom-Mom's house.

I had a hard time sleeping that night. The next morning my Mom came to pick me up and to take me home. When my friends, Nicole and Magin, came to visit, I was in my own bed fast asleep.

Mom brought them to my room and said, "Whitney, your friends are here. By the way, did you see the dogs last night? I thought maybe they were sleeping with you at your Mom-Mom's last night. Mom-Mom called and she is all upset."

"They weren't sleeping with me last night. They were outside. They barked and barked and I couldn't sleep."

Mom said, "Something really strange is going on. Mom-Mom said that a witch came in and turned the dogs into cheerleaders!"

Then I immediately jumped out of bed and said, "Well if we don't do something quick she might come back and put a spell on us! Mom, come on or she might do something worse."

Mom said, "Then let's get to work and make sure the witch can't do any more tricks. It's already 10:00 AM. You slept all night and alittle bit of the morning so we're already behind. We have to go and get some materials to set a trap that will make her disappear."

Then mom called my friends and me into the kitchen and she said if we work together as a team, maybe we could find a recipe for the secret disappearing potion. Then we will come home and make our plan.

"Magin and Nicole can sleep over," said Mom. "They can help us with our plan."

"But Mom, I am still tired. I want to sleep more."

"Whit, I want the witch out of my house!"

"I want to go home if the witch is not gone by tonight," said Magin.

My mom said, "Don't be scared. We'll have her out of the house by tonight, right Whitney?"

"I'm sure we will."

Mom said, "Whew!"

Magin said, "If the witch is not out of the house when I go to bed at 9:00. I know I won't be able to sleep at all."

Mom tugged at my covers and I slowly got out of bed.

"Hmm…," Mom said, "What are we going to tell Aunt Sandra when she comes over with baby Lauren and Uncle Wade at 1:00 and they are suppose to go shopping with us? We need to get stuff for the witch. They just won't understand."

"Mom," I said, "You stay home and visit with Aunt Sandra, baby Lauren and Uncle Wade while Nicole, Magin and I shop for the potion."

Mom agreed and the three of us walked to the store down the street. It wasn't very far from my house. We walked inside the door of the costume shop and asked the lady if she sold any spells or potions. She looked surprised but then led us to a small shelf near the back of the store.

"This potion will make things disappear. Be careful how you use it," she whispered.

We bought the small bottle and ran back home. Mom was sitting in the kitchen with Aunt Sandra as we tiptoed up the stairs to my bedroom. All we needed now was a plan! We put our heads together. We knew just what we would do. Later that night we heard a strange sound on the stairs. We covered our heads and shivered in our beds. Would our plan work??? We heard a moan and then a strong wind seemed to whip through the house. We didn't move an inch until morning. When we came down the stairs we saw it! A black witch's hat was on the steps but there was no sign of the witch. We did it. She was gone!

THE END

Hi Whitney,

Wow! You really worked hard on your story! I loved reading about Whitney's big adventure with a witch, and seeing how you got rid of her was fun! You have written an exciting story.

I like the way you opened your story, making it scary right from the start. In the first paragraph, when you wrote, "A chill went up my spine," you let the reader know that this was going to be a scary story, and that was good!

I liked the idea of the disappearing potion, and you made it even more believable when you had your characters go to a costume shop to search for the potion. A costume shop is the place people go to become someone else, so that was good thinking.

When the lady in the shop said, "This potion will make things disappear. Be careful how you use it," you set the tone. Having her whisper it made it even more somber. Good for you! You continued that mood when the kids heard a strange sound on the stairs and a "strong wind seemed to whip through the house." Perfect. I wouldn't' have moved an inch til morning, either!

When you ended the story with a black witch's hat on the steps, but no sign of the witch, you tied up all the loose ends and left the reader satisfied. I am proud of how hard you worked to write this wonderful story!

Your Friend,
Lois Szymanski

Patti Weeg
pweeg@comcast.net

May 18, 2004