Whitney
Dear Mrs. Lois Szymanski, I love writing. My favorite writer is Judy Blume and you. I like your books. I have most of most of them in fact I could name some of them. They are Sea Feather, A Perfect Pony and The Gettysburg Ghost Gang and that’s all I have. I bet you I could name your favorite animal. It is a horse. Where do you live and what state or city? Now I will tell you a little about me. ok! I am a cheerleader and I cheer for Pop Warner. My coach’s name is Jennifer Wheatly. I want to write about animals.
Your friend,
Dear Whitney, It is exciting to hear that you love to write! I love to write, too, as you probably know. You will have a great time writing your story, and I will have a great time helping you, and getting to know you along the way!
You are right. My favorite two animals are horses, and cats. But I love all animals, and I like to read almost anything about them, so I am happy that you will write a story about an animal, or animals. I wonder what will happen in your story, and what kind of animal, or animals you will write about? The hard part will be planning your story plot, deciding what will happen in your story. I live in Westminster, MD, so that is a setting for many of my stories. Where will your story take place? Will there be a cheerleader in your story? Will there be many characters in your story, or just a few? What will their names be? I am looking forward to hearing more about your story ideas! Write back soon!
Your New Friend,
Hi Mrs. Lois Szymanski, Yes I did know that Sea Feather was a real story. I want my story to be about dogs that wake up over There will be many characters. Their names will be Zachary, Nicole, Kya, Gerrod, Josh, Whiney , Patricia, Kane, Sea Feather, Jacob, Tavon and Lois Szymanski. They will turn to cheerleaders because this witch comes in and sprinkles green feathers over the 6 dogs .The guy sprinkles green feathers and runs away because he did not want to be caught. A year later she was caught turning dogs into cheerleaders to cheer for Delmar Wildcats which is Pop Warner. A year later they moved to Mill Pond Villige but they got kicked out because they were way too loud. That is all I had time to think about.
Yours truly,
December 3, 2003 Dear Whitney, Reading your idea for a story was fun! You have a good imagination, and you've started a great outline for the plot. You have named a lot of characters for your story. If you use a few less characters it will be easier for you to write the story, and easier for the readers to understand it without getting confused. I find that working with more than four characters in a short story is hard to do! Your idea is exciting! I am already wondering what your witch will look like. Why does she want to turn the dogs into cheerleaders for the Delmar Wildcats? Are they better cheerleaders than the real ones, or worse? Is she angry at the Delmar Wildcats? Did they beat her in an important game when she was a kid? What did they do to make her angry enough to turn dogs into cheerleaders for the team? She has to have a motive, or a reason for doing such a mean thing. I am also wondering about the dogs. Are any of them special pets? Is the witch trying to get even with the Delmar Wildcats team, or a certain player on the team? When the cheerleader (dogs) were too loud, was it because their cheers sounded like howls? Ooohh. This is going to be a cool story! I am pleased with your plotting! Every good story has characters, a conflict (or problem) to start the story, something exciting in the middle (called the climax), and a conclusion that solves the problem. You have a list of characters. You have a problem, because the witch has turned the dogs into cheerleaders! But what will happen in the middle, and what will your conclusion be? Do you know how your story will end?
Your Friend,
January 6, 2004
Thank you for your story web! It looks super. I love the way your story begins in your mom's house at midnight on a Saturday night. What a spooky way to open a story. Is that when the witch first comes into the story? Are the cheerleaders spending the night at your mom's house? Will the girls see the witch? You are opening with a good problem! Now you get to start writing your story. I have a few more questions. What happens the first time they see the witch? Does the witch come back another night, or does the whole story happen in one evening? Do the dogs go to a game and cheer and dance at the game? What kind of ideas do your characters have to capture the witch? Who will finally catch the witch in a basket? What do you do to the witch after you catch it, or does she just melt away?
Your Friend,
:>)
The Cheerleading Dogs One Saturday night went to bed and it was really late and strange things began to happen. Then I started to hear pots and pans wiggle and my dogs started to bark butt I just thought it was my older brothers Doug and Eric and there Friend Cody who was going to spend the night at ny Mom Moms house woke up the next morning and my Mom, Nicole and Magin stood over me and said have you seen the dogs. I said no I have not seen the dogs since last night and Mom said that's because a witch come in and turned the dogs in to cheerleaders! Then I immediately jumped out and said well if we don't do something quick she well come back and put a spell on us Mom come on I said are she might do something or even might do something worse. Mom said then lets get to work because its all ready 6:00 and you slept all day so were all ready behind so we have to go and get all the materials and come home and set up the trap but Mom I am still tired and I want to sleep more and Whit I want the witch out of my house and I want to go home if the witch is not gone by tonight said Magin I said Magin do not be scarred we will have her out of the house by tonight right Whitney I suppose so and Mom said I know so Magin said I know so to because if the witch is not out of the house when I go to bed at 9:00 then I will walk home and stay there in till my parents get home and that means all the rest of the summer Mom Yelled No you are going to get up and your going to get up now because your friend Magin can not go home because her parents are not home and it is agenst the law and you know that it would not be nice to come home and get a 1,000 dollar fine and then if Magins parents went back and told the cops that we let her go home then they would give the fine to us an if you can come up with 1,000 dollars than sure let Magin go home Whitney said but Mom where am I going to come up with money like that well Mom said you can use your college found but that is up to you but Mom I need my college found because I want to be a nurse and to be a nurse it takes money well enough arguing Mom said what are we going to tell your Aunt when she comes over with the baby and your uncle at 1:00 and they are suppose to go shopping with us and we need to get stuff for the witch an what if they see the stuff to get the witch and then they will go home and will tell your Mom- mom and she will she will tell your other Mom-mom and your Pop-pop and then they will call your Aunt and your Uncle.
February 11, 2004 Hi Whitney, I sure had a good time reading the first draft of your story! You are very creative and your imagination helped you add lots of good details to your story! I like the way you opened your story up. You made me feel like I was in your room with you, and hearing strange things, and feeling frightened! Could you just add a line about how you feel when you start to hear things in the house? Here is your exact first paragraph with a few lines about how you feel.
One Saturday night I went to bed late. I was already afraid, when strange things began to happen. I started to hear pots and pans wiggle, and my dogs began to bark. A chill went up my spine.
Maybe it is my brothers, Doug and Eric, and their friend, Cody, I thought.
See how the story seems more real when you add how you feel? It makes the reader feel like they are with you in the bed, and they feel afraid, too! When Mom comes in the room how does she look? I bet looks worried, and is talking fast and stumbling over her words! Maybe she didn't even take time to comb her hair. After all, the dogs are missing, and they might even have a spell on them! Could you describe how she looks and sounds? How does she know the dogs were turned into cheerleaders? Did she see any witches? Should she tell you what she saw? You have so much wonderful information in your story, but you need to break it up into paragraphs. Paragraphs make it easier to read. Make a new paragraph each time someone new speaks, or something new is happening in the story. Make a new paragraph when you wake up in the morning, and then again each time someone different speaks. How will your story end? I am anxious to find out! Write back soon, so I can read more!
Your Friend,
April 7, 2004
The Cheerleading DogsBy Whitney One Saturday when I was spending the night at my Mom Mom’s house I went to bed late. I was afraid because strange things began to happen. I started to hear pots and pans wiggle, and my dogs started to bark. A chill went up my spine. I thought maybe it was my brothers, Doug and Eric, and their friend Cody who was spending the night with us at my Mom Mom’s house. I had a hard time sleeping that night. The next morning my mom took me home. When my friends Nicole and Magin, came to visit, I was in my own bed fast asleep. Mom brought them to my room and asked, “Whitney, did you see the dogs last night? I thought maybe they were sleeping with you. Mom -Mom called and she is all upset.” “They weren’t sleeping with me last night. They were outside. They barked and barked and I couldn’t sleep.” Mom said, “Something really strange is going on. A witch came in and turned the dogs into cheerleaders!” Then I immediately jumped out of bed and said, “Well if we don’t do something quick she will come back and put a spell on us. Mom, come on or she Might do something worse. Mom said, “Then let’s get to work because it’s already 10:00 AM and you slept all night and little bit of the morning so were all ready behind. We have to go and get all the materials and get a trap that will make her disappear then we will come home and you can do what ever you want. If you want, Magin and Nicole can sleep over. Then we will go over to your Mom-Mom’s and set up the trap.” “But Mom, I am still tired I want to sleep more.” “Whit, I want the witch out of my house! I want to go home if the witch is not gone by tonight, “said Magin “Magin do not be scarred. We will have her out of the house by tonight, right Whitney?” “ I suppose so.” Mom, said, “I know so.” Magin said,” I know so, too, because if the witch is not out of the house when I go to bed at 9:00 then I will walk home and stay there until my parents get home. That means all the rest of the summer.” Mom yelled, “No, you are going to get up and you’re going to get up now. Your friend, Magin, can’t go home because her parents are not home! It is against the law and you know that it would not be nice to come home and get a $1,000 fine. If Magin’s parents went back and told the cops that we let her go home then they would give the fine to us. If you can come up with $1,000 than sure let Magin go home. “Whitney said, “But Mom, where am I going to come up with money like that? Well, “Mom said, you can use your college found but that is up to you.” Mom, I need my college found because I want to be a nurse and to be a nurse it takes money.Well enough arguing Mom said what are we going to tell Aunt Sandra when she comes over with baby Luren and Uncle Wade at 1:00 and they are suppose to go shopping with us and we need to get stuff for the witch an what if they see the stuff to get the witch and then they will go home and will tell your Mom- mom and she will she will tell your other Mom-mom and your Pop-pop and then they will call your Aunt and your Uncle and they will just keep carrying on and honey that is not good at all ok. Ok I said now get up and get dressed and then we can go to the store and get the stuff we need to get her out of the house.
Hi Whitney, I had fun reading more about the Cheerleading dogs. Your story gets better each time I see it! Your first paragraph is a great way to start the story. You added wonderful details and made a chill go up my spine, too Remember to break your story up into paragraphs. Whenever someone new speaks or thinks, or something new is happening in your story, you need to start another paragraph. The beginning of the story was strong, but the end seemed to get off track a little bit. It seemed like you weren't sure how to end your story, so you let the conversation take on a life of its own. Endings are hard! Sometimes that happens to me. Sometimes writing out a big conversation is easier and it helps you get to know the characters better. But usually you don't need that conversation in the story at all. I think your story would have more punch if there are no arguments, and everyone works together to trap the witch. Maybe Megan can lure the witch in and Whitney can throw a net, or a tablecloth or a bedspread over her and toss her in the closet? When they look, she has disappeared. Or maybe Mom knows a secret recipe for a potion to get rid of the witch and turn the dogs back onto dogs again? That would be fun because Whitney would be surprised! Any solution to the witch problem will take your story in a better direction, and closer to a good strong ending. If you start trying to get the witch right after the part where Mom says, "Let's get to work because it is already 10:00 a.m.," and you work together, I bet you can trap that witch and give your story a happy ending! Good luck getting the witch under control. Right back soon, so I don't have to worry about the dogs!
Your Friend, |
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Patti Weeg May 22, 2004 |
November 4, 2003
November 10, 2003
I'm glad you have read some of my books. I hope you liked them. Did you know that the story of Sea Feather is a true story? Here is a picture of the real Sea Feather when he was just a baby colt.
November 17, 2003
I better let you go now, because you have a lot to think about! This story is just going to get better and better! Write back soon and tell me more!
How was your holiday from school? It's so nice to have a holiday in the middle of winter, isn't it? I hope you had a wonderful time while school was out. Did you get to do any reading, or writing?
I like the way you solve the problem, so the story can end in a good way. Oooh, this is a scary-fun story. I can't wait to read more. Write back, soon!