Sean
Hi Mrs. Szymanski, My name is Sean and I am 7 years old. I like to play soccer and baseball. My favorite subject in school is math and I like recess, too. I would like to write a story about a lion and a mouse. I have been to Washington, DC to see my Uncle Jerry.
Your friend,
Hello Sean, It is so good to finally meet you! I hope you are over being sick and ready for winter and snow, and I especially hope you are ready to have fun writing! Soccer and baseball season are over and I think it might just be writing season. What do you think? Maybe one day you will like writing stories about soccer and baseball as much as you like to play the sports! I see your favorite subject is math. I admire that. I am terrible at math, but I do like recess, just like you! I see that you have already picked the characters for your story, a lion and a mouse. I think they will make good characters because they are so different. A lion is big and strong and bold and sure of his self. A mouse is tiny and weak and scared all of the time. Because they are so different, they should make great characters. It's time to think about what will happen in your story. I wonder what kind of an adventure you will help your characters have? If you have trouble thinking of what will happen in your story, play the What-If game. Ask yourself what would happen if your characters did this, or did that? Imagine scenes in your head, just as if your story is happening and if you like what you imagined, write it down. Don't worry if it is not perfect. You can always change it later. I change my stories all the time. You will need a setting. That is where your story will take place. Will it be in a big city, like Washington, DC where your Uncle Jerry lives? Or will it be in the country? Will it take place in a house, in a school, in a neighborhood, a forest, or someplace else? Will it be cold or warm in your story? Will it be in today's world, or will it be a story from the past? You will also want to think about how to describe the characters in your story. Will your mouse and your lion have names, and wear clothes, and talk? Or will they be realistic, just like they are in real life? Will you have other characters in your story, people, or other animals? Description helps a story come to life. As you write your story I will read it and help you through your edits and rewrites. Don't worry about the hard stuff. We will work it out together. It is more important for you to enjoy the writing process. Have fun! Writing can be very exciting! I can't wait to read what you will write!
Your Friend,
Dear Mrs. Szymanski, Hi I am sorry I couldn't write back to you sooner. My main characters are the cartoon and the boy. The boy was watching tv and the cartoon jumped out of the tv. The cartoon took the boy in the tv. It was a digital world. They saw a magic railroad and they went on the train. Then the train took them to an upside down land. The cartoon character needed help in his world.
Your friend,
Hi Sean, It was great to get a letter from you. Your story sounds like a lot of fun, and that made me want to know more! I had a lot of questions, and answering those questions might help you make your story stronger. Having a cartoon as one of the characters in your story is a very original idea. But I wondered what your characters look like? Is your cartoon a boy or a girl, a person, or an animal, or a made-up creature of your imagination? What is the boy's name, and what is he watching on television when the cartoon comes out? It will be very exciting when the boy goes into the television, and into a strange new world. Make sure you describe how everything looks so the reader can picture it as clearly as you see it in your own mind. Also let us know how your main character feels. I like your plot. Having the cartoon need help from the boy is a good idea. It gives you a reason for the cartoon to get the boy and bring him into his world. Now you will have to decide what kind of help he needs. Is there a friend, or an animal that needs medical help in an area humans know more about? Is there an evil force or person that is threatening the cartoon and his world? Can the boy help them get rid of that evil being? There are so many ways you could make this story go. Playing the What If? game again might help you figure out how you want your story to go, and what kind of help the cartoon needs from the boy. Writing a story can be so much fun. You can close your eyes, pretend you are the boy in your story and dream up ideas for where your story will go. Think about your characters, describe them to your readers, and let your imagination fire up your plot. I know it will be a very special story. I will be waiting to read the next draft of your story!
Best Wishes!
4/02 Mrs. Szymanski, Did I send this to you yet?
Blane and the Cartoon
Blane was watching tv in his house with his sister, Jamie. Their mom was at the store buying a quart of milk and some pizza for dinner. On the TV was their favorite cartoon show called Rocket Power. Otto, the main cartoon character in Rocket Power, was talking on the screen when suddenly he jumped out on his skateboard and landed in the middle of the room where Blane and Jamie were watching TV! Blane and Jamie were surprised and a little scared because they had never seen a cartoon boy come out of the television. They started to run away but Otto said, "Come back. I need two more skateboarders in my show." The cartoon took the boy in the tv. It was a digital world. They saw a magic railroad and they went on the train. Then the train took them to an upside down land. The cartoon character needed help in his world.
Your friend,
4/05 Hi Sean, Thank you for sending your story! No. I have not seen this version yet. I really like your story. It is fresh and original, and lots of fun to read and to imagine! I do have some suggestions though, to help you edit your story. Here they are. What does Otto look like? I want to see him the way you see him. You could describe him right after the scene where, "suddenly he jumped out on his skateboard and landed in the middle of the living room." I wondered if he wears a cape, or if he is in sneakers and jeans, or is he in a superhero costume that is all his own? I love that you use dialog so well. Dialog is when the people in your story talk. I especially liked when Otto said, "Come back. I need two more skateboarders in my show." But then, I wanted to see him use Blane and Jamie in his show. Maybe when they jump into the digital world Otto could hand them sneakers and skateboards and we could see them practicing to be in the show. Or maybe when Otto hands Blane the skateboard, he will think, It's a good thing I know how to skateboard! How did Jamie and/or Blane feel when they were swept into the television? Could you add some of their thoughts. Maybe Blane was worried, but excited too because Otto is his favorite cartoon? Your story is really fun and I want to read the end. I hope you have them in the show, or practicing for the show. Don't forget to have Otto promise to take them home right after the show so your reader doesn't worry about that! Keep up the great work and send me the next draft soon. I can't wait to see it!
Your Friend,
4/24/01 Dear Mrs. Szymanski, Here is my story. I hope you like it. Now I am going to make my picture. Sean
Blane and the Cartoon
Blane was watching tv in his house with his sister, Jamie. Their mom was at the store buying a quart of milk and some pizza for dinner. On the TV was their favorite cartoon show called Rocket Power. Otto, the main cartoon character in Rocket Power, was talking on the screen when suddenly he jumped out on his skateboard and landed in the middle of the room where Blane and Jamie were watching TV! He looked tan and he was wearing a yellow shirt and red short pants. Blane and Jamie were surprised and a little scared because they had never seen a cartoon boy come out of the television. They started to run away but Otto said, "Come back. I need two more skateboarders in my show." "Why do you need more skateboarders in the show?" they said. "My sister who is 10 years old wants to compete with me in a skateboarder contest. Whoever wins gets a trophy for this year and next year. We have to practice hard to be better than my sister. I've seen you skateboard on the rail and I think you are great. Would you be my partners to beat my sister?" Blane and Jamie agreed to join Otto's team. They looked a little nervous when Otto said, "Come follow me," and he jumped back into the television. There was no reason for Blane and Jamie to be scared. When they got inside the TV they gasped! They really liked what they saw. They were in "Skateboard Land" where there were ramps, rails and half pipes filled with skateboarders. Everyone was having fun and practicing for the contest. The time for the contest arrived. It was an exciting time for skateboarders. The winners were announced and Jamie, Blane and Otto won the trophy and they won thechampionship. Jamie and Blane hurried home before their mom got home from the store. When she got there Jamie and Blame were watching TV with a big trophy beside them. Mom said, "Why do you have a trophy?" "You'll never guess what happened, Mom, while you were gone."
4/26/01 Sean, Wow! You have really put a lot of thought and hard work into your story. It is wonderful! I was so interested in what I was reading, I felt like it was a whole new story. I especially liked the descriptions of the characters and the world they entered through the TV door. I was caught up in the surroundings, and excited about how they brought a trophy home from the strange world they'd visited. You wrapped up your story perfectly with a great conclusion. I hope you are feeling very proud! What a great job! I also hope you had lots of fun writing your tale. Now, I can't wait to see your picture.
Warmest Wishes, |
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Patti Weeg April 29, 2001 |
November 21, 2000