Kya
Dear Mrs. Lois Szymanski, I am a good cheerleader. I read two of your books. The two books I read are Sea Feather, and The Perfect Pony. Your books are fantastic. My mom loves Hugs and Kisses. I would love to be a book writer just like you. I love horses too. My friend Connor loves horses. There is a horse book called King of The Wild. Are books your favorite thing to do? When I grow up I want to be a book writer and write about dogs.
Your friend,
Dear Kya,
It was fun to read your letter and learn about you! I am happy that you have read two of my books. Sea Feather is one of my favorite books, because it is about my friend Carollynn and the real life pony, Sea Feather. Here is a picture of the real Sea Feather with two of his friends, Rachel and Alissa. This picture was just taken a few weeks ago. I hope that you become an author one day, too! If you work hard at your writing, and never stop believing in yourself, you will be able to do it! You said you love horses. Do you want to write about them one day? You must love dogs, too, because you say you would like to write about dogs one day, too. What will the story you write for Mrs. Weeg be about? Writing, reading and riding horses are my favorite things to do. I also read the book you asked about, King of the Wind by Marguerite Henry. It was full of adventure! What kind of adventure do you have planned for your story? Where will your story take place? Who will be the characters in your tale? I can't wait to hear more about the story you plan to write. Write back soon!
Your Friend,
Dear Mrs. Szymanski, Yes, I would love to write about dogs one day. My story will be about a famous dog named Scotty who plays soccer. He was a famous dog. The dog will have lots of adventures. My story will take place in my backyard to practice. The main character in my story will be Scotty. Scotty won all of the games.
Your friend,
December 3, 2003 Dear Kya, I liked hearing your story idea. Scotty sounds like an adventurous dog! I once saw a dog playing soccer on the David Letterman Show, and he was a lot of fun to watch, so I know your story will be a fun one! It's good to see that you have a setting picked out. Your backyard is a good place for Scotty to practice. He will be the main character in your story, but who will be the other characters? You know that Scotty will be the star. He will be a soccer-playing dog who wins all the games. Now you have to think about what else will happen in your story. How will your story begin? Most good stories open with a conflict, or a problem. Do you have any ideas about what the conflict could be for your story? Maybe your dad does not want you to keep a dog? Teaching Scotty to play soccer will make him a special dog, one that Dad will want to keep. Maybe Scotty hurts his foot kicking the soccer ball? Maybe Scotty is a runaway dog that you want to keep? To come up with more ideas for how your story will unfold, you can play the What-if Game. Whenever I am writing a story and I get stuck, I play the What-if Game. I ask myself, What if this happens? How will it change my story? What if that happens? How will that affect my story? I bet you can think of lots of What-if questions of your own. Then, you can pick the best ones to use in your story.
Your Friend,
January 6, 2004
Thank you for sending your story web. You did a great job putting it all together. I can tell that you have been thinking about your story, but I still have some questions. You say that the problem is that it starts to rain. I wondered why this was your problem? Your solution is that "Everybody believes that a dog can play soccer," so maybe your problem should be that no one believes that Scotty can play soccer? Maybe that is hard to prove when the games are getting rained out. What made the coach decide to put Scotty in the soccer game? Was the team in a pinch when he remembered seeing Scotty play in the backyard and decided to take a chance?
Your Friend,
Scotty Wins Today is the big day! Whitney said, " Kya, I have some bad news and good news. " Kya said, "What is the good news and bad? " Kya was getting ready for the soccer game. Kya said, " What is the bad news and good news. Whitney said, " The bad news is that is going to rain. R.A.I.N "said Kya. But the good news is that it is going to rain at 5:55 Whitney said. Kya said, " The game starts at 3:00, and ends at 5:30. We have a lot of time before it starts to rain. Kya said, " Well that was a close one. My mom is getting ready to take us to the game. Kya, Nicole, Scotty, and Whitney got into the car. When Scotty got out of the car he was happy. Nicole said, " Good luck. Whitney, Kya's mom, and Nicole went to go sit on the bleachers. The game began. When somebody got hurt the coach told Scotty to get in game. Scotty scored a goal.
February 11, 2004 Hi Kya, It was fun reading the first draft of your story! I want to read more! Scotty is going to be a great soccer dog! The thing I like the most about how you wrote your story is the dialog! Dialog is when people talk in your story. You do a great job of having the characters in your story speak! It really helps to bring the story to life. The way your characters speak sounds very natural, too. I bet your were thinking of what you would say, and how your friends would sound! I liked when Kya spelled out the word RAIN, like she didn't' want to say the word out loud! That made me laugh! Remember to make a new paragraph every time a different person speaks. Adding description will help your readers picture the story in their mind. Where are your characters ? I want to see what they are seeing. Are they going to the game in a van, a car, a truck, or are they walking? What do they see around them? Are Kya and her friends wearing soccer uniforms? Also, I wondered what Scotty looks like? Does he look like the dog in this picture? If you could add a description of Scotty, that would be great! I also wondered what Kya was thinking, and what she said out loud when the coach put Scotty in the game. Have they used dogs in their games in the past? Does the team cheer for him when he goes into the game? Describe what he looks like with the ball in his mouth, running for a goal. I bet he runs like the wind! I am looking forward to seeing your story again. You have a wonderful start. I know it is only going to get better! Write back, soon.
Your Friend,
May 5, 2004
Scotty WinsToday is the big day! Kya had been waiting for the big soccer game. Whitney and Nicole had just come over to visit Kya and the three girls were talking about the game between the Panthers, and the Sea Kings. Everybody at school had been talking about it, too. Whitney, Nicole and Kya's dog, Scotty, were looking at the news on T.V. The news said that it was going to rain. Whitney felt sad because she thought the game would be canceled. Kya was getting ready for the soccer game. She was dressed in her uniform and looking for her soccer shoes. Scotty was ready for the game. He barked to let her know he wanted to go. Kya said, "Not yet, Scotty. The game isn't until 3:00." Whitney said, "Kya, I have some bad and good news." Kya said, "What's wrong? " "The bad news," Whitney sighed, "is that it is going to rain." "R_A_I_N!" said Kya. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. "But the good news is that it is going to rain later this evening," Whitney said. "I hope we can play our game before the rain starts." Kya said, "The game starts at 3:00 and will end around 5:30. We'll have a lot of time before it starts to rain. Are you ready Whitney?" Kya's friend, Nicole, called Kya when they were getting ready to leave. Nicole said, "Kya, I decided to walk to the game because I do not live too far away from the soccer field. I'll meet you there, goodbye." Kya's mom was outside, so Kya told her mom that she didn't have to stop by Nicole's house. Kya, Scotty, and Whitney got into the car and off they went to the field. When Scotty got out of the car he was happy because he loves to play soccer. Nicole said, "Good luck!" as she watched us head out to the field. The game began. When our best player got hurt the coach looked around for someone to take her place. We had no extra players. The coach was desperate. She didn't want us to lose the game. Suddenly Scotty barked and the coach turned. She looked at me and said, "Kya, I've heard all about your dog. He's a great soccer player everyone says. Could he help us out tonight?" Scotty ran out to the field and everyone cheered. They knew he would save the game for us. Sure enough, in the last quarter Scotty stole the ball from the Sea Kings best player and ran with it all the way to the goal. He pushed it with his nose and into the net. It went right past the goalie! The score was 5 to 6 and our team won. Scotty saved the day!
Hi Kya, I liked reading "Scotty Wins!". Your lead sentence is perfect. Right away I know that the story is going to be important, and that it will be about a big soccer game. That's how you grab the reader's attention, and you did a great job of grabbing mine! I like the way the story progresses, and I like the ending a lot. Scott really did save the day! I only had two things in mind that might make your story a bit stronger. Could say a few more words about your best player getting hurt? What happened to her? Was it serious? How did the team react? If this is your best player, we need to know how the team feels. I bet they have mixed emotions, worrying about the player, and about the game, too. Wouldn't they be a little bit worried about a dog being able to save the game? Having them worry about the dog stepping in to play would make it even better when Scotty saves the day! The second thing is that I would love to feel like I am a part of the celebration at the end, when they win. Could you just add a few lines to show how the team reacts. Could the players be jumping up and down? Would Nicole, and Kya, and Whitney be slapping hi-fives and hugging each other? Did they hug Scotty, or hold him up in the air? After all, he really did save the day! I like your story a lot! It's a strong story, and your writing skills are strong. I can't wait to see your final draft!
Warmest Wishes from Your Friend, |
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Patti Weeg May 22, 2004 |
November 4, 2003
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A good story has three Cs. It opens with a CONFLICT, (or a problem). It has a CLIMAX in the middle. This is the part where everything is going wrong and help is needed. And the last C is the CONCLUSION. This is the end of the story when the problems all get solved and the ending is good. I bet you can think of a good conflict (or problem), climax (exciting middle) and conclusion (ending). Write back soon, so I can see how your story grows!
How does it feel to be back to school after a nice holiday break? I did lots of reading and writing on my break, and that felt wonderful! Did you read or write while you were off?
Your story has all the ingredients you need to cook up a good plot! You just need to think about the details and start to write. Remember, the first draft is a way to figure out what works and what doesn't, so it is okay if you have to change something after you write it. I think you are going to have a super-good story! I can't wait to see your first draft! Write back, soon!