Personalized Instruction

You have the beginnings of a very, very good story! I love your characters and how you've told us with just a good, single word something important about each one. Quick, strong, friendly and messy are all good descriptive words. You need to put some thought into how to begin your story. I'm not a big fan of "Once upon a time...", but I think you need a better first line than what you've got right now. Maybe you could start with a description of that snowstorm and how everyone reacted to it.

You've got a great idea there, having all the animals work together to build the snowman. then you have this WONDERFUL idea about how it makes the pig feel, to see them all working together and having fun. Maybe, it would be stronger if you told us how the pig was feeling during the time the others were working together. For instance, was he standing on the sidelines saying "You'll never be able to do it!" That might help explain why he doesn't like it when they succeed. And then maybe your ending would be even better if the others notice how sad he gets, how left out he's feeling and they INVITE him to join them and make a snowman - maybe with his help they can get even taller all together, and he could put the hat on top! What would you think of that? I think your story is coming along beautifully. Keep up the good work!

-Sarah

Hello Katie,

Wow! You've written an idea for a breathtaking story. It sounds like it will be very scary to read! Stories should open up with a conflict and you have a definite conflict. The characters must get away from the shark. That is a good problem. When you start to write your story, think about all the details, and add some description. Sometimes, when I am writing a story I write down a list of questions about my own story. Then I write down a list of answers. There might be two or three answers to each question. Then I have to choose which one I like best and want to use in my story. Ask yourself some questions about your story. Maybe you could write down a list of questions and a list of possible answers. Then choose the answers you like best.